Monday, 11 November 2013

A Trip to the Dentist

I hate the dentists. I have never enjoyed going as waiting around for ages, having someone study you closely, make judgements about you, cause you pain and then charge you for the experience is not my idea of fun. My current dentist is even worse; I swear he enjoys causing pain.

Admittedly an appointment is never going to start well when he comes to the waiting room and calls for “Katie?”. My name is not f**king Katie you pillock, and if you can’t read my notes accurately or pay attention to detail should I really be trusting you with something as irreplaceable as my teeth?

Anyway I sat down and he asked me if I had been having any problems or was in any pain. I said “no”. Big mistake. He proceeded to force my jaw open wide enough to fit in an orange then got a pointy metal stick and stabbed at my gums repeatedly. He tried to persuade me that the pain was because I hadn’t been flossing and that if I did so regularly then my gums wouldn’t be so sensitive and bleed when poked. I can see he might have a point if he was just referring to the gums between my teeth, but he was using me as a pin cushion and no amount of flossing is going to stop that hurting. In fact I consider it a good thing for flesh to hurt when assaulted with a sharp object, it shows the flesh is healthy and nerves working properly. I’m not talking about sensitivity to touch, but being jabbed at with a sharp needle like point.

Next the dentist told me “I’m just going to give your teeth a bit of a clean”. Note: he didn’t ask. There was no consent involved in the process. He just grabbed a whirring bit of kit and shoved it in my mouth, the nurse proceeded to stick a vacuum cleaner in my mouth and they fought a battle with my teeth, gums and tongue to leave me in pain. “It may be a bit sensitive”, feck off.

The chair was straightened, by apron removed and I was handed a note to take to the front desk. I left with tears streaming down my face to hand over £18 to the receptionist. “I’ll see you again in a few months” Mr sadistic dentist called after me. Not a chance.

My daughter is at an age where I should start taking her to the dentist to show her there is nothing to fear. I think I might need to find another dentist.

I now have toothache.

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