Thursday, 1 August 2013

Dear guy standing far too close to me on the tube,

My preferred tube carriage is a near empty one 
Dear guy standing far too close to me on the tube,
At times the tube can be very busy. At times us Londoners may have to sacrifice our ideal amount of personal space, but there is NO EXCUSE FOR SPOONING.
I don't know you, I can't even turn round to see what you look like. There is no reason your nether regions should be touching my buttocks. Simpley turning at an angle would allow both of us some comfort and would make me feel less nauseous.
I am having to move forward, knocking the bag of the lady next to me. She turns round and glares at me. I would explain that I am trying to avoid becoming an acquaintance of man parts, but that would break another cardinal rule of tube travel: talking to people. Evil eyes are endured, tutting tolerated, but conversation is controversial.
When entering a crowded tube you must ensure that your body is not parallel to anyone else's (unless you are in a relationship with them).
When holding on please ensure your hand is at least 2 inches away from someone else's. this avoids awkward accidental hand holding as the train lurches to a stop.
If you are a guy and over 6 foot please have some consideration for how close your armpit is to those among us not cursed with height (being shorter does mean I can stand closer to the door without having to stand with my head and neck bent). This is even more important at the end of the day when you are more fragrant.
Oh and a new one: please don't elbow me in the face hitting my head against the side of the train and not even turn to apologise. (Can you tell I'm live blogging).

I have a real appreciation of the tube. It normally is a very reliable way of getting to me and from work. It's faster than driving and I don't have to worry about going for a drink or 2 after work.

I must admit I enjoy looking at the fashion styles of those heading to the office: today it is females in floaty dresses in pastel colours and a lot of men in rolled up shirt sleeves. There's also the guy who whacked my head who is wearing a suit jacket and is clearly sweltering. I guess it's not just other people he doesn't pay attention to, but the weather as well.

So while i have some love for the tube I don't feel the same love for commuters (often men) who stay in their own bubble, not checking who needs a seat, play music too loud and make others feel uncomfortable.

If you travel on the tube when it is busy, please consider others. Sardines happen often, but bump and grind is avoidable.

2 comments:

  1. One of the few things about London that I don't miss... We were in Tokyo recently, where the underground system is even more crowded than our own. To stop the frequent "spoonings" they have now come up with women only carriages between certain hours...

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    Replies
    1. That's a nice idea. And I bet all the pregnant women would get seats in that carriage without asking

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