Tuesday, 28 August 2012

Anyone for a party? My daughter is turning one...

This week we went to 2 first birthday parties and we have a whole series of invites to more. Baby M turns 1 in a month and I feel the pressure mounting to organise a party for Baby M. But I don't want one.

A party is always great especially when my friends are there and I get to open a load of presents (well Baby M can't open them yet can she?).

She turns 1 the day before I go back to work so organising a party is one additional presure I don't need. I wouldn't mind if it was a case of just inviting a few people over, but inevitably it's more than that: my house isn't big enough for more than a few babies and their parents. So I could follow what my friends are doing and hire a venue.  Then arrange catering.  And an entertainer. And toys. And party bags. Not to mention planning all of this around a theme.

I've been to some lovely parties. Some that cost a lot, some where the parents have made a huge effort, but they have just made me more determined not to have one.

Fair enough people want to celebrate their children's first birthday, but who are they doing it for? If I organised a party it would only be because I feel I had to, not because I wanted to. Baby M's Dad wouldn't enjoy it, I would be running around stressed and Baby M would be as happy spending the day with just us. Probably more happy as she will get to have her naps and food when she wants them.

Then there is the cost. As I reach the end of my maternity leave money becomes increasingly tight. I know you can organise a party on a budget, but the cheaper it is the more you have to do yourself and the more stress there is.

Another option is a family party, but it's unfair to ask people to drive a long way just for a couple of hours. I may be being selfish, but I don't want to spend my last weekend before I go back to work entertaining relatives when I could be spending precious time with my daughter.

People have started asking me what I am going to do for Baby M's birthday and I apologetically say I don't think we are doing anything. Why I feel the need to apologise I don't know, I'm saving them the need to buy a present after all.

The truth is I'm not having a party, because I don't want to and I don't see the point. Instead I might spend the money on toys and activities she will like and spend the day giving her cuddles.


  1. I'm so glad I read this and that I'm not the only one that feels like this. Now I just need to be strong and tell people there is no party and plan what me and my OH want to do with our son on his first birthday as a family. Just us three x

    1. Thank you. I'm glad I'm not alone x

  2. I 100% relate. I went back to work April 2011 and that June Aaron was 1. With the stress of trying to re-establish myself at work, the birthday was on top of me before I knew it and there was no time to organise a party and I felt the exact same as you - I did not really want to.
    So on the day of his birthday we went to a soft play area and he LOVED it - HE loved it (not guests: there weren't any) - his birthday= his day.

    But then, that October we did a party for his baptism, and he was that few months older which meant he really enjoyed it. But it proved to me how expensive parties are. I added up a few elements and was already at £700 so I stopped counting ;-)

    So, roll forward again to his second birthday and I just took him and 2 friends to the zoo for the day :-) - back to being sensible.

    There's plenty of time for parties when he is at school.

    Liska xx

  3. I was glad we didn't have a 1st birthday party for the Wee Man - we had lots of fun with him at the Zoo instead and it was all very stress free.

    Enjoy being able to get away with not doing parties while you can, I say!

  4. I'm loving the zoo ideas, now I just need to persuade my other half...

  5. We have avoided birthday parties so far too. Little man turns 4 in 6 weeks and we are doing the same again.... A family day out :-)
    I make him a cake each year and he sees family too so he's one content little boy. I'm dreading when school starts next year with the pressure then but I hope he'll be content with days out with a friend or two rather than a party.


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