I'm more likely to sit Baby M in front of baby tv so I can have caffeine and food.
I spend less time playing and interacting with her.
At night I'm more likely to delay feeding her when she is starting to stir (this usually backfires and results in less sleep).
I'm likely to stay in all day rather than go somewhere stimulating.
I have less patience and I find myself getting annoyed with Baby M when she crys even though I know she is only doing it because she is in pain or she wants something.
And I consider giving up breastfeeding so I can leave Baby M for a night and get sleep (although I would hate giving up breastfeeding, and I haven't managed to spend more than a few hours away from Baby M since she was born because I miss her too much)
I'm also a bad partner when I'm tired:
I snap and get easily irritated, especially when I don't feel I'm being supported (like right now when I can hear J watching tv while I'm trying to settle an unhappy baby).
I hand Baby M over because I need a break and then take her back quickly (and get annoyed) because J isn't managing to settle her due to having less practice.
I won't get around to housework or cooking
I don't care that J is tired too and has to go to work all day where he has no options of naps.
I try and share the misery: I have been known to wake J up when I've been up half the night.
J is generally a brilliant Dad and supportive partner. He helps out a lot, but on work days his sleep is a priority.
Baby M is usually a good baby and I usually get enough sleep.
I know I need to have the inner strength to keep calm and patient when I am over tired. I know a lot of things, but knowledge alone is useless without action.
Tonight I promise I: will raid my stash of chocolate, count to 10, try not to judge and I will make an effort.
In return please can I get at least 6 hours sleep?
|Baby M asleep. I wish she was right now|