Tuesday, 6 December 2011

24/7 Support

Having a newborn baby can be a lonely time. The first few weeks there is a rush of wellwishers (many bringing gifts), but soon everyone moves on with their own livesand you suddenly realise that who you thought your friends were and no longer who you see and talk to.

My friends now fall into 4 main groups:
The Busy Bees
Baby M is now 10 weeks old and there are some of my goodfriends who haven’t yet met her. I guessit goes back beyond that: there are some of my ‘good’ friends who I haven’tseen since I stopped feeling up to going to the pub in the evening duringpregnancy. I admit I haven’t made a hugeeffort to arrange meet ups, but when I do they often cancel or don’t commit toa time.
The Persistent Singles
I have a small number of friends who keep asking me out: tothe cinema, to the pub etc. Whilst Iappreciate the thought they only ask me to events that aren’t suitable forbabies. I have to choose between stayingwith my beautiful baby or expressing some milk, arranging a baby sitter,missing bedtime and getting less sleep. Thereare very few films which could compete.
The Friendly Parents
The people I know who have children. I have grown closer to these friends as theyhave been supportive throughout my pregnancy and beyond. They have offered help, advice andinvitations are to places (and at times) that are suitable to bring babies along.
The New Mums
Since my NCT classes 5(?) months ago I have continued tomeet up with the other mum’s in my group at least once a week. This means that in the last 10 weeks I haveseen them more than nearly anyone else. Including family.
I have alsostarted to make friends at various baby groups I go to. These mum’s are having similar experiences tome and don’t mind that I have essentially one topic of conversation thesedays. I suspect that this group willbecome my closest friends for many years to come (or at least until I go backto work in April).

In addition there is a 5th group that has beeninvaluable:
Virtual mums on twitter
These guys have been amazing. They live all over the world and are either new or experienced mums. They prevented me giving up breastfeeding. They have kept me company. They have made me laugh. And hopefully they appreciate me too.
Advent calendar watch day 6: 2 men and a sheep.  Enough said

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