Monday, 12 September 2011

Am I ready?

At 37 weeks I had a sudden panic:  “help, I’m considered full term, the baby could come at any moment”.   As the minutes, hours and days passed without any sign my baby wanted to make an appearance I became increasingly frustrated.  That was until one day last week when one of my friends visited with her 2 children.

Her oldest child is two and a half, and youngest nearly one.  For several hours I was constantly on my feet keeping an eye on them as my house isn’t childproofed and cats aren’t used to being poked and chased by children.  Both of the children were constantly moving around, exploring and generally doing the things children do.  And that was before we had lunch and a fine layer of fish fingers and plums was smeared over my sofa, rug, table, tv...  It was an eye opener about just how much my life will change.

Since the visit I have been enjoying the remainder of my pregnancy.  I’m 39 weeks today and quite happy to be pregnant for another 3 weeks.  Once the baby is born things will never be the same again.  Despite the current discomfort and niggles I’m happy to enjoy the last few days of napping when I want and going out with only myself to organise.

I know about 8 people who have had babies in the last month, all with very different birth stories (good and bad).   I’ve heard some horror stories, but I’m feeling very relaxed about giving birth.  Women have been doing it for thousands of years.  I’m fit and healthy and there is no reason why there should be any problems.  Even if there are the medical staff are trained and know what to do to ensure my baby and I get safely through.

The only thing I’m concerned about is how I’m going to cope with my new life with the baby.  Already I have noticed a distance between myself and some old friends.  Friends who have the freedom to do what they want, when they want.  Do I have to lose these friends and make a whole new set?   I know it’s inevitable that I will make new friends with children of a similar age.  It’s a survival thing.  But I’m still not sure if I am ready to say goodbye to my old life.  And do I have any choice?

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